Love Biggie #1: TIME!!!
Time is vital to the success of any relationship. You have to be dedicated to devoting time to make it work. Whether you live in the same or different locations, you have to make plans to be with each other, fellowship with each other, date each other, and build a friendship with each other. You're probably thinking, "Wow, she's asking me to devote my time to a lot"! Well, yes I am. I'm asking on behalf of your loved ones. As much as you value your time alone, you have to value the time with them as well. In addition to this, you also have to find time to be with friends and family.
To make it work in my relationship, my boyfriend and I schedule out and discuss every weekend of each upcoming month. This allows us to make changes in our schedule, plan vacation time at work if necessary, and make different arrangements with friends/families to incorporate everyone in our lives. It may sound like a lot of work, but it's not and it doesn't take a ton of time to do this once you get in the habit of doing so. I suggest taking at least 30 mins to 1 hour before the last week of each month to discuss what each of you have on your agenda for the upcoming month. This really, really helps because it prevents a lot of confusion and keeps both of you on the same page in terms of what you will be doing.
If you remember from my previous post, I mentioned I am in a long distance relationship, which can make our scheduling a little more challenging sometimes, but we always work it out. While we love being with each other, we still like individually hanging with our friends/family, and having time to ourselves. Early in our relationship, we found an easy resolution to this. Here goes: 1 weekend a month we have an off weekend to spend with our friends or just do nothing alone; 1-2 holidays a year to spend with friends without each other. This may sound crazy to you but this plan accomplishes a few things: we miss each other a lot on off weekends, which in turn gets you excited to see them the next weekend; we get to spend time with our friends, whom we definitely want to be active and involved in our lives; we get that "ME" time that everyone needs. This may not work for you, but if you are not successful at balancing your relationship, family, and friends in your life, this is definitely worth a try. I'm living it, so I know it works :)
Time means so much in life. It keeps going on regardless of your plans. I elaborated on time in a previous poem post I wrote, "Time, Who Are You?", so check it out.
Have you taken the time, to sit down and have a heart to heart with your mate lately?
Do you know if anything is bothering your mate?
Do you know if your mate feels bogged down or like they don't have time for themselves?
If you answered "No" to any of the above questions, I suggest you make the TIME to find the Answers.
What do you do in your relationship, to maximize time with each other?
Do you have any issues with finding time to do things with and without your mate?
What kind of system do you use in your relationship to make it work?
I would love to hear how you make it work while finding time for yourself and your mate? So drop a comment and let me in your great thoughts.
Do you have a hot relationship/love topic you would like for me to address? If so, hit me up at abookof40@gmail.com and I will be glad to do a post.
“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back.” - Harvey McKay
Until my next biggie,
-SOLAR 40
